Craft Beer is Dead
I just want to start off by saying "GET OFF MY LAWN!"
Now that I got that out of the way, I want to declare that I'm sick of beer.
Yes, you read that right, I'm totally bored with it. In fact, I have been bored with it for quite some time now and the ironic part of that is, it seems like everyone else is too.
While doing a little research for this article, I looked up the phrase "Craft beer is dead" and it looks like many others have used that title for their articles also. But since I really wanted to use some form of the De La Soul album cover for my article, I said fuck it, I'm titling this son of a bitch that too haha.
As most of you know, I started this blog back in the mid to early craft beer revolution of the early 2010's. As a matter of fact this year marks my 14th year of yapping about beer stuff and things and such.
Back then, West Coast IPA's were the daring thing to brew. If you had a solid West Coast IPA you were good to go as a brewery in terms of street cred and rumors of a new brewery opening on the other side of town got people excited to go and blow their entire paycheck at the joint.
Photo -Chase Pellerin
These days I don't even know what breweries are opening ...or closing for that matter and what made up style of beer is the new flavor of the minute everyone is chasing... and frankly I don't really care anymore.
Here's where you will say "Gee Dave I thought you were this beer god among stray neighborhood cats" and I'll say "yes young one, I was once like you, enthusiastic about new beers but now I will seclude myself in the deserts of Tatooine for the rest of my days."
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most breweries, more specifically, brewmasters are also tired of chasing trends. Sure if you are a brewer you like to experiment with beer styles, that’s what you do but when you have to constantly change your entire lineup to match what flavor of the minute a couple millennials like because they saw a "beer reviewer" on tik tok making a duck face while synchronized dancing and talking about how the bros discovered this new flavor while mixing a bunch of things you shouldn't have during a frat party, it gets old real quick.
Do I think drinkers tastes change over time, sure...mine has but if I never hear about another stupid hazy orange juice tasting IPA ever again, I will consider myself lucky. The seltzer craze hit a couple summers ago and I even tried a few myself but how far can you take that to an end point of sustainability? Seltzers to me are like the resurgence of the wine cooler trend of the late 80's or even the Zima craze of the 90's, it all kind of blurs together. Yes I know the unexplored territory of THC seltzers is happening now but again, I’m not too wowed over them.
The other big trend that is emerging is non alcoholic beer. Again I’ve tried quite a few of these and I will say this might have a future more than O’Douls did in the past, but yes here it comes, I think its missing something…and no I’m not talking about the alcohol part, it just doesn’t have that full flavor part of it. Sort of like a session IPA … man those things always have the same weird end finish to them. I cant ever put my finger on it but it’s like an artificial, bland something.
Are people in general tired of drinking beer? Good question because studies have shown that the younger crowd isn't drinking alcohol as much as they used to but I'll say that is technically incorrect. If I ever get my old bones up and go out to a brewery in hipsterville Northeast Minneapolis, I'm blown away by how many younger people are there drinking and it makes me realize I'm just old and washed up then I get up on one of the tables in the taproom and yell "Get off my lawn!" ....just kidding but really, the younger crowd is very represented in this drinking era.
Where are people getting these stats from? Maybe they are from the same place they are saying younger people aren't driving cars as much anymore and I'll call BS on that because goddamn rush hour traffic is busier than ever haha.
On the same side of changing tastes though, New Belgium and Sam Adams have redone their versions of Fat Tire and Boston Lager because sales have been declining. I will say this, I've always thought Fat Tire was gross, seriously! To me it tasted like an actual rubber tire ….that is up until right before they changed it into this new version. It was in a spring sample pack a year and a half or so ago and I actually liked it, I was blown away! Then they went and changed it.
This current new version I got to try at the brewery in Ft Collins last year and I was confused on the style they went with because it was no longer an amber (which by the way was way played out in the 90's) but now it's this sort of a Belgium something or rather. I then tried it again in December and I actually like it now! Could it be my grumpy old taste buds are changing?? Possibly but at least it didn't taste like rubber this time around.
As for the "remastered" Boston Lager, I'm not too thrilled with this version, I mean I’ll drink it because I’ve been a Sam fan but it's almost too smoothed out and missing that hop bitter bite at the end. That's what made Boston Lager fun, it was a beer most mainstream breweries were not making back in the day but apparently Bahstin drinkahs were banging a left on this mutha fukin verhshon …. (that was my attempt at a Boston accent by the way.)
So I guess I'm out of things to bitch and moan about but I guess I should ask the question, is craft beer dead or is it just tired? I can say I personally don't run out to get new styles of beers like I used to but I have seen a couple new European styles of pilsners some local breweries are attempting which did spark my old self's interest slightly but again it's probably going to be expensive...Oh Shit I almost forgot to complain about beer prices!
So most people know I've always complained about craft beer being more expensive than standard beer over the years and the biggest argument response I got was "well you have to pay for quality" and I always said sure quality to a point but most of these new breweries were flying by the seat of their pants buying expensive ingredients when they didn't really have to go that far.
Macro breweries have it down to a science of brewing a beer to mass amounts and do it without breaking the bank to make a profit. Craft breweries want to make the best beer with the best techniques to produce the best product, and there’s nothing wrong with that. BUT when you charge out the wazoo, that's not really my problem, that's yours.
Everyone wants to say small breweries don't make any money, which is partially true but partially false. I know brewing equipment is not cheap. Bank loans for breweries are not small but you can't tell me you aren't making money off a $7-8 pint. That shit adds up!
Are small breweries closing today, yes! Are small breweries succeeding today, yes! Will I cry myself to sleep because a brewery closes, no!
I know in this economy prices for everything have gone up and the prices for brewing supplies are for real now....what am I trying to say without being a total asshole, I guess its that to me, beer will always be around. I'm not really dedicated to one brewery. I'll drink whatever, wherever whether it be a small local joint or an evil corporation that murders small puppies to follow the latest trend. Sure some beer tastes better than others but I don't really care about blowing my entire paycheck on something that is declared to be the #1 best quality among the beer gods. If that makes me a jerk so be it, right click and cancel me into the recycle bin.
I don't actually make any money doing this beer thing, it’s true. As a matter of fact, I spend money to do this, I'm such a fool. Actually if I did get cancelled, I wouldn't have to waste so much time on the internet and I could watch more reruns of Cheers haha.
Ok so in closing I haven't written a grumpy old bitching and moaning post in a while so I figured I'd let everyone know my current state of affairs, happy drinking!
Beer Sucks ! 😀
